Written by Gbawo Founder: Feyisope
I think people in Nigeria are often surprised when I say I don’t like being called “Feyi”. I actually prefer being called by my full name – F.E.Y.I.S.O.P.E. Well, this is for two reasons: 1) No Nigerian person that I ever meaningfully interacted with growing up abroad has really ever called me “Feyi” before I moved to Nigeria in 2017. Not my parents, not my siblings, not my grandparents, not my godparents, not my aunts, not my uncles, not my parent’s friends, not the popular Nigerian-American DJ that spins everyone’s graduation parties. In the apt words of DJ Neptune, JoeBoy and Mr. Eazi, “NOBODY, NOBODY, NOBODY, NOBODY, NO!”.
Therefore, it is extremely weird and unnatural to respond to it. Like when people were calling me “Feyi” in The Nigerian Law School, I too was also craning my neck to look for this mysterious “Feyi” person that they were always calling because they certainly could not have be referring to me, and 2) and most importantly, as a Nigerian Diaspora Baby/Full Circle Story (please see our style guide for full definitions), with most of my formative years spent in America, I have lived a life of having my name being shortened for the convenience of others to my alter ego “Fey” OR brutally massacred several times a day – in school, at work, in confirmation class, on stage on graduation day, at the DMV, at the doctor’s office, at the dentist, at the post office, at Dunkin Donuts, you name it. On this side of my life and on this side of the world, I had hoped to enjoy the privilege of hearing it fully – no shortening, no accommodating, no internal cringing. I just find it extremely ironic that hearing my full name is an issue in America and now also in Nigeria.
I could understand this Feyi business if I introduced myself to people as “Feyi”, because I know some of my Feyimates do go by the shortened version of their full name (and introduce themselves as such) which is fine because that is their preference, their choice and their introduction. However, for myself I can categorically state, without hesitation, or pause, or a shadow of a doubt, that I have never, or would never, go up to someone and say, “Hi there, my name is Feyi”, and that’s on Period. I would always and will always say, “My name is Feyisope”.
I’m on a roll now so please bear with me. I know “Feyi” will continue because how many people can I gently correct on a daily basis, and people are just used to doing it and don’t mean me any harm. When I even tell people to please call me Feyisope, most of them adjust for a few days then go back to calling me, “Feyi”J. Along the road, I made my peace with “Fey” in some ways, so I’ve decided that Feyi will be my alter ego number 2 and will wear red wigs, so if you ever see me with flaming auburn locks that’s Feyi not me lol.
On a more serious note, I also think the automatic shortening that plagues “Feyis” or “Temis,” when you introduce yourself as your full name, is a byproduct of people not really paying attention when you tell them your whole, complete name. Then, they can’t remember if it’s, for example, “Feyisara” or “Feyisayo” or “Feyisope”, OR if it’s, for example, “Temitayo” or “Temitope” or “Temilade”. But now there’s an awkward issue, because we’ve been hanging out and vibing together for weeks/months, so now it becomes extremely difficult for them to ask me to remind them of my full name since they should know it. So, they bypass the second part that they are insecure about to be safe. It’s ok I see you. I can actually understand the logic and I think it comes from a place of wanting to reduce everyone’s potential embarrassment which…I respect in theory I guess but also no at the same time. Speaking for myself, I won’t judge you, just ask me to refresh your memory, trust me I will happily do it.
My last point on this I promise. If we are getting into a semantics argument, “Feyi” by itself is technically and glaringly incomplete in meaning. It basically translates to, “I use this” or “use this”. Ermmmm, use this for what pray tell??? That can get extremely dicey if missing the proper context. I’m just saying. Justice for all my forced “Feyis”, “Temis”, “Damis”, “Bimbos” and the like! I see you and I feel you.